when I

when I get angry and bring up a fight, I know its stupid as soon as I have said something. Why does he make me so angry though!? And most of the time he doesn't even get it that he makes me angry.
I am way too over my head in this 'friendship'. He has made it clear how little feelings he has for me, so why can't I seem to move on? What the hell is wrong with me?

I have finished my first 3 days of work at the chocolate shop. Something new, pretty tiring. I am also starting work at the WACA this week which should be exciting. Ill be in the members section for the international test so maybe ill get some close ups of the Australia team.

am I more

am I more annoying than everyone else in this world ???




oh and I hate him.

ohmygod

ohmygod, he gave in and called me. I really didnt want to give in, because it means that this is probably going to happen again. But I gave in, surprise surprise. If anybody actually reads this, they must think how stupid me and Jim are- I can't even keep up sometimes.

So he called and apologised and said that he does want to talk to me, etc. I told him i'm sick of this happening, but we'll see what happens. He is leaving to Melbourne today and I wasn't going to see him until after he got back, which made me sad. He asked me to come round yesterday to hang out, and it was so nice.

I hate it sometimes how good I feel around him....so i'll just have to see how things turn out while he is gone.

God I miss him already- how pathetic.

On other news, I'm going to an arabian themed party tonight- woooooooooo !

things are

things are still bad with him, actually probably worse now.
He doesn't want to hang out with me or talk to me for a while, which will happen because he is going to melbourne on friday for a while. So today is again the first day (of many) of not talking to him, and neither of us can give in- as much as I just want to talk to him now.

I can't understand why guys can't handle emotional things. When things start to get good again he freaks out and runs.

Back to square one for me again...

so he

so he gave in. He called me later on that afternoon when he said he didnt want to speak to me again. I can't understand it anymore.

Yesterday was stereosonic. I wasn't overly excited for this festival for some reason, never the less Ellen came over and we had our 'pre' drinks, which ended up with us not even making it to stereo!
We drank way too much, a lady found us on the train and took us back to hers to help us sober up, only thing is we didnt sober up but ruined her lovely house.

I have never been more dissapointed in myself then I have been today. Not only is that $200 down the drain, but I upset Jimmy too because I called him and his friends all day, not knowing really what i was doing. Now things are back to being awkward between us. I wonder how long he will go now without talking to me...

God, just when I think things can't get worse, they always do.

the good

the good things always come to an end...don't they? Which makes me wonder, are they even good things to start off with??

Day 1 [of many] of not speaking to the ex...

I don't have much to say today, except that my job finishes up today, but I managed to pull another job from the chocolate shop across from michels. They're going to give me a few shifts over the Christmas break.

chocolate for

chocolate for break fast.

i woke up pretty early this morning when i promised myself i would sleep more, so i did my usual check up on face book. The reason i have started my blogging today is because i started reading through a friend of mine writing and i feel like i understood a lot about how she felt.

one thing, i think this is a good thing for me. The past 4 months have been very bad for me, maybe here i can vent and not worry about someone reading it.

i still love my ex